Happy New Year

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. 
- Helen Keller 

2012 has been a roller coaster of a year for me, and I have spent a good bit of time reminding myself of my belief that "everything happens for a reason, just believe." 

The insanity began last December, with an intense 3 hour interview on a Tuesday, followed by a job offer 2 days later, giving notice the following Monday and my grandmother passing away the next day -- all culminating just 12 days before Christmas. 

Suddenly I found my favorite time of year was even crazier as the incredibly exciting possibilities that came with starting the new year at a new job and the reality of this huge loss started to sink in.

True to form, it didn't settle down much after that. After taking the week between Christmas and New Year's off to renew and process the grief I wasn't really able to deal with during my notice period at the old job, I threw myself into my new job wholeheartedly, with a passion and excitement I was thrilled to  be feeling again. 

At the end of January, I ended my 5 year relationship; it had been a long time coming. I simply had had enough of being the only one participating and trying to make it work and, as a result, told him very unceremoniously exactly where to go and how to get there. O:) In the following months, I have never once regretted it, felt sad or missed him or the drama that had become the norm. Definitely the right choice and the right time.

In February, I met an amazing man, who happened to be a horse trainer with a deep passion for horses. He believes that giving a horse "the right start" in life, can make them much more successful and valuable equine citizens. And, he's damn good at achieving that. This year was a challenge for him, as well, but to his great surprise, I stood by him through it all and even built a website for his business, complete with photos and videos, that show what he can do and how he does it. I also designed new business cards, a car magnet for his truck and a baseball cap with his business name and tagline on it. 

The cowboy and one of his projects

The rest of the spring flew by in a whirlwind as I enjoyed spending time with this cowboy, with the added bonus of getting saddle time, even though it wasn't Promise. And of course, I continued to agonize over Promise, because I couldn't come up with a brilliant solution to getting her sound. 

The cowboy, teaching a 3 year old to bow

In early summer, she started to drop weight rapidly and became even less sound, with no outwardly obvious reasons. I mostly left her alone to be a horse and in what I thought were good hands, as they had always taken perfect care of her. In June, after a few weeks without visiting, I was shocked and angry -- with myself, with the barn and its management, and with the world for yet another stroke of bad luck -- to find my beloved mare looking emaciated and withdrawn. She was miserable -- and I was FUMING. If I'd had access to a truck and trailer I would have moved her *somewhere* that day. Instead, I challenged the barn owner about the horse's condition and demanded that we find a solution to rectify the situation as soon as possible. Like, yesterday.

A week or so later, on a Friday afternoon, I went out to pick up lunch for me and a coworker and came back to a car that wouldn't start. Great. I had to call her to come get me and our lunches and leave the car there. I tried jumping it, a new battery, a different key fob, you name it. I finally had it towed to the dealer where it took them more than 8 hours to diagnose the issue as being a dead computer. $700 and change later -- the week before the first vacation I'd been able to schedule in two years. I no longer had any spending money for vacation because I had emptied out my savings account paying for the car. And although my horse was very slowly gaining weight, I was panicked about leaving her for a week...it was shaping up to be a terrible vacation!

It wasn't terrible, despite the worry hanging over me and despite the attempts by my ex to contact me (I suppose he had no way of knowing I was on vacation). I once again told him where to go, lol...and I crossed something off my bucket list: capture a lightning bolt on camera. 

I returned to Florida to find Promise looking a little less ribby and a little more lively. Unfortunately, it didn't last. Although still gaining weight, she just had this dull, uninterested look. I gave her a few days to snap out of it, even though I couldn't stand the sight of her being unable to kick at flies or comfortably stretch out to pee -- two of the most basic creature comforts for a horse. The dullness only got worse and I knew that there was no longer enough quality of life; she was making it pretty plain she was ready to give up. Calling the vet to make that final appointment was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and even when she rallied two days before he was supposed to come out, I knew I was making the right decision for her. On July 11, I said goodbye to my friend and "heart horse." 

Promise and her boyfriend Ruler, on July 11

Slowly, I accepted the loss of Promise. I felt more at peace with it and started to deal with the guilt I felt at being relieved of the burden. The rest of the summer flew by. Although, I can say I have seen more rainbows since just before I lost Promise, than I can ever remember seeing in my life. Maybe I'm cheesy, but I think it's a sign. :)

In October, I went on a weekend cruise with my mom and my best friend to Cozumel. We had a great time, despite rocking and rolling through Gulf waters that were most definitely affected by Hurricane Sandy in the Atlantic! Two vacations in one year is more than I've ever experienced before!

Hammocks overlooking the Gulf of Mexico, in Cozumel

In November, due to a series of unfortunate events, including a lack of horses in for training, it looked like my cowboy was going to be returning to Texas to rebuild his business. This resulted in a long discussion of where that left us, if/when he did return to Texas - a discussion that did not go as I had anticipated. I've been getting mixed messages ever since, so I keep telling myself whatever is meant to be will be (read: everything happens for a reason).

The holidays this year were hard. Last year, at Thanksgiving, my grandmother was still with us, although she was very sick. This year was the first Turkey Day without her and the first Christmas where her loss felt real. Last year, we were still processing as it hadn't even been two weeks.

Despite all of the ups and downs, I find myself inexplicably happy with life. 

I love my new job and all of the people I work with and will celebrate my 1 year anniversary with the company on Thursday. 

My best friend (left) and I as the cruise ship left port

I also have my family, my friends and my health -- although I have re-resolved that the weight I've (re)packed on is coming OFF...since my stress level is much less now and I'm genuinely tired of being fat! And, although the man I love now is behaving a little strangely at times lately, I know that I want him in my life in whatever capacity I can have -- and have resolved to let him figure out what it is he wants and take it in stride...because I can't control it.

So, if nothing else, I am thankful for all that I have and for all that I have learned this year about life, about myself, about the world. This year has helped me mature emotionally, has increased my inherent ability to step back from a situation and look at it objectively, to let go of things I cannot control (especially other people and their actions) and has shown me that even in the midst of bad or undesirable stuff, there is still amazing, wonderful stuff happening. 

I hope everyone has a safe, happy and healthy new year, whether you look at 2013 as a fresh start or just another year.

Amazing.

For the last year, I have been participating in a driving study. As of Monday, my commitment to the study is complete, and next week, they will remove their equipment from my car...with the exception of the front license plate holder they attached to hold a radar. Since they had to drill through my front bumper to attach it, they told me I could keep it...and since they told me that, I have been pondering what to put on it, once the radar was removed. I really didn't want to leave it empty and black on my gold car!

I immediately thought I wanted a custom portrait of Promise done on a vanity plate. So, for the last year, I have been rolling my options around somewhere in my subconscious mind. I knew I could a.) find someone to do it for me or b.) do it myself. My concern with doing it myself is that I am not a realist when it comes to painting and I knew I would never be happy with the final product because of my expressionist style.

Anyway, I've spent the last few weeks looking for someone who does airbrushing and also is talented enough to do a custom piece, on such a small, awkward space. 

I struck gold when I found Sure Shot Airbrush. Although the piece was supposed to be finished when I arrived, I am happy that it was not because I got to see it unfold, as the owner airbrushed it in front of me, completely freehand.

Here is the amazing piece of artwork I came home with:

Just for reference, here is the photo I provided for him:

Keepsake #1

When I made the decision to have Promise euthanized, I planned to band and cut her tail. A couple days before the vet was due out, I washed and conditioned it and then while we waited out the rain storm the day of, I banded and braided it below the tailbone. 

I did not think to take a before picture of the braid, but she had quite a bit of tail. (If only she'd had that nice of a tail when we were showing!!) It was well past her fetlocks and pretty thick in the middle.

I very quickly decided on two items that I *had* to have made. Each would take about 1/3 of the hair to make. Below is a photo of the first keepsake piece that I received in the mail tonight -- a hand-made horse hair dreamcatcher.

If you'd like more info on having one made, please contact Claire and Lauren at Colorado Wrangler Works. They were great to work with and all that handiwork took about 2 weeks. 

We will never forget.

Remember those we lost, those that have given their lives, those that volunteer to keep us safe in our cities and towns, on our military bases, over seas in war zones. Remember where you were that morning. Remember the passion and unity the tragedy incited in this country. We still need it more than ever.

Incidentally, my heart is even heavier than normal on this day, since it also marks the 2 month mark since I let Promise go. 

This takes a lot of getting used to.

Since February of 1998, I have been able to say, "I have a horse. Her name is Promise. etc, etc, etc"...probably ad nauseam, to some.

 It's weird now to think of that in the past tense.

 My boyfriend thought for sure I'd want to ride the horse he takes care of, Prince, on my birthday 2 weeks ago. While I would have loved to hack around for a bit and for the most part, have been riding him a couple of times each weekend, I was getting my hair cut as my birthday present to myself, and quite vainly didn't want to ruin my new 'do by getting all sweaty! Especially since he was going to take me out to dinner. (I might love horses and not mind being dirty, but I'm still a girl. :))

I also just wasn't feeling up to riding a horse other than my own on that particular day. It was my day...and also the day before the 1 month mark. :(

This weekend was the first time we've had a tropical storm threat since I've been in Florida that I haven't had to think about the specifics of my horse's safety. Weird. Instead, I spent a while on Saturday and Sunday doting on Prince (I couldn't ride because he was inexplicably lame this weekend). Gave him a bath, slathered him in corona to help his overly sensitive thoroughbred skin heal from the rain rot that went untreated until my boyfriend started caring for him. (His owners are clueless. But, it's clearing up quite nicely, now.) And, made sure there were two stalls ready with shavings and water, cleaned and refilled the water trough in his paddock, etc. in case we lost power and/or water, and put anything that could potentially turn into a projectile in the tack room. Ha. All that and we barely got rain...although we're not out of the woods quite yet.

On a slightly brighter, although bittersweet note, I sent out 1/3 of her tail about 2 weeks ago to start the ball rolling on the first of two keepsakes. I am very excited about it and can't wait to see the finished product. The girls making it seem great - very sweet and honest - and their handiwork with horse hair looks absolutely amazing. I will be sure to post photos when I receive it...which hopefully will be in the next week or so.

The second piece I want to have made will likely wait until closer to Christmas, when I should receive another bonus from work. Also, my boyfriend had an interesting idea for the last 1/3 of the tail, and I have been pondering how best to execute it, because it was really an interesting and thoughtful idea...something that hadn't even crossed my mind. And, it will be relatively inexpensive to do (unlike the other two!), since I would do all the hand-skill work myself.

A week later

Thank you all for the support and kind words. It's been really incredibly weird. A big part of me, although sad and sort of...well, empty, is also very, very relieved. 


Relieved that I don't have the rather constant worry (is she doing ok? is she in pain? is she happy and at least comfortable?) and doubt (am I making the right choice for her? am I making the right choice for me? can I afford this in the near/distant future? can I afford this now? what else can I try? does she still want to try? do I still want to try?) and let's be honest, the guilt/excuses (I want to spend more time with her, but gas money is tight; work is crazy, I want to go flop on the couch when I leave here; and what the heck are we going to do after I finish grooming and cuddling her anyway? stare at each other? can I handle it if I get there and she's worse than she was a few days ago?) hanging over me.


Despite my sadness at losing such a big part of my life, and a bond I will never be able to achieve again in quite the same way...I know she's in a better place, galloping and playing gleefully, just as she should. 

I hope the feeling of acceptance and understanding I got from her was legit. She seemed very much at peace during the freak rain storm that delayed the event, and was once again, cuddlier and sweeter than usual. Even her boyfriend, Ruler (shown below with her last Wednesday afternoon), did not call after her (like he always did, even when he could see her) when we led her to a secluded place or even after I returned to the barn without her.

As I expected, the vet gave me the choice of being with her the entire time, or leaving before he gave the final dose. I knew what my preference was likely to be, but didn't make a decision until he presented the options. I decided I did not want to see her go down...I didn't want that image burned in my memory. So, I spent a few more moments with her, cut her tail, and then led her to the spot and stayed with her until he said the sedative was working and it was time. Then I promptly returned to the barn and tried really hard not to look back. 

The barn owner said she went peacefully. 

Since then, I have managed to actually get some sleep...hooray. I'm slightly more functional at work. And, I have been posting a photo of her each day on Facebook. I have also washed everything in my tack box, vacuumed and cleaned the box, etc. and rewrapped all the wraps, and reorganized it. 

I have a couple of really lovely keepsake pieces picked out, and will be contacting the very creative people in the next couple of weeks to make sure they still make them, and see what the process is for sending the hair their way. I will share pictures once the pieces are made.

I also received a lovely, hand-written sympathy card from SmartPak after I cancelled her next order, which was a complete surprise. I always knew they were amazing, but that just solidified it even more. Companies (heck, a lot of people) just don't do that type of thing anymore.

Otherwise, well, life continues on whether you keep up or not. I have no choice but to keep up. I rode a horse for my boyfriend last weekend, which, of course, is hugely therapeutic. I am looking forward to riding again this weekend.

My long term goal is to pay off some things in the coming months and then look into taking lessons again. I need to figure out if the desire to ride is still as strong as it used to be, or if I'm truly happy with the once-in-awhile thing that I have become accustomed to over the last few years...and without pushing myself and making the effort, I won't have a clear answer. 

Once I determine whether I actually want to ride consistently, and if I do, get back to an acceptable level of riding fitness, I might consider finding a horse to half lease for awhile. That way, I have a horse that is "mine" but don't have quite the same level of responsibility as a true owner. 

Who knows, maybe I am crazy enough to want to buy another horse in a year or two. Before I make that decision, though, I really do need to find out where my passion is now. 

Do I have the energy and ambition to go ride a horse several times a week? Do I still want to compete? Do I still have the guts to jump? Do I just want a trail horse that can take me over the occasional jump course? Do my Olympic dreams still burn in there somewhere? 

Promises to Keep: April 12, 1994 to July 11, 2012

My horse has gone ahead now, 

To blaze a trail for us; 

To find out every rocky place, 

Or one where we can’t pass; 

She'll seek the finest grassland, 

And water fresh and pure; 

To make sure when we travel on, 

Our path beyond is clear; 

She’s never let me down before, 

I know now and I see; 

She’ll blaze our trail to heaven, 

And come back one day for me. 

©Kate Howe 2004

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Robert Frost, 1923

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

Leave it to her.

The vet is coming tomorrow afternoon. I had to schedule around summer camp, which isn't ideal, but the barn owner said if I scheduled for after 3 p.m., she would make sure no one was there. So, that's what I did.

But, leave it to Promise to be feeling good 2 days before the vet is scheduled. I went there last night to hang out for a while and wash her tail (in preparation for banding/braiding/cutting, so I can have something made)...and she was reasonably chipper and full of herself. She is still having quite a bit of difficulty with the basics, like kicking at flies. So, I'm not for a moment under any illusions that all is well. I am fully aware that she's been cycling like this for the entire duration I've been trying to get her sound. She'll be great for a while, and then really, really bad for a while. It's heartbreaking. So, it doesn't change anything, just makes it harder on me.

I tried not to over think, to just enjoy the fact that she was feeling good in that moment. (Despite the part of me that was thinking, Really? Can't you be two-legged lame?)

And, my normally affectionate-but-not-overly-cuddly mare was unusually cuddly last night. The last time she let me hug her and hang on, without getting grumpy, was when we lost Harley.

I'm sure many people would tell me I'm reading into it more than I should, but it sure felt like she was telling me it was ok.

It's time.

I went to visit last night and although she was perkier, she was still not herself, and not physically comfortable. In addition to the things I mentioned in my last post not improving, when I brushed her, she was shedding like a fiend. I guess the Pergolide isn't doing it's job anymore. I have a call out to the vet, and am waiting for him to call me back to schedule something for next week. There is a summer camp session at the barn next week, so it will need to be toward the end of whatever day he is available. Ugh. I am so not looking forward to this, but I do know in my heart and my gut that I am making the right decision for her. It's time.

Deja Vu: not looking good

It was right about a year ago that I posted something very similar. (I think it's time to make a decision.) The difference this time is that I feel a lot more comfortable with the decision. It's not quite as heart-wrenching now, as it was then. I don't have as many options to try now, as I did then. I am sort of at the end of "things to try" as well as the means to do it. 


If I had unlimited financial resources, I could probably get her sound for a reasonable amount of time, to at least be a reasonably sound pasture ornament. Unfortunately, I don't have unlimited financial resources. And, as such, I have tried everything within my means that I can think of, to maintain quality of life, even if she wasn't at 100%. Truth be told, anyone who has followed along with this blog for the last nearly 3 years, knows that it's been an uphill battle to keep her sound, with a lot of failures at doing that along the way. It's been nearly 3 years of being sound off and on...mostly off. 


My point being...I don't have the financial means to increase her quality of life. And, if I continue to try, not only will I be broke, but she'll most likely still be broken...and it seems like I will fail, at an increasingly fast rate. I wish, so much, that this was not the case. However, just as I said last year, when it gets to the point that you're considering euthanasia, it is truly no longer about you, but about the animal. It is my responsibility to do right by my partner, and at this time, I can only see one more way to do that.


A few weeks ago, before I went on vacation, my boyfriend and I drove up to the barn to spend some time with Miss Promise. I was *shocked* at how much weight she had dropped. I called my barn owner FUMING, although I managed to control my temper, somehow. They'd had no round bales on the property in weeks. My horse needs to eat all day, every day, to maintain her weight, especially at her age. My first thought, truly, was, if someone were to call the SPCA right now, they'd take her. I couldn't believe it. I told my boyfriend (who is a horse trainer) if he'd had access to a trailer and truck, I'd be moving her right then and there. I didn't know where to, but I'd find a place, even if it was my own backyard. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option. I made arrangements with the barn owner to switch her feed from their custom mix to a senior pellet, and to increase it as long as there was no hay on the property (seriously, NO HAY? Find another grower.). My trust in her was instantly broken, and I began making plans to move her as soon as was physically possible, although I needed her to put on weight before I could even think about it, as most places would have turned me away as a liability. Yes, it was THAT bad. It still makes my blood boil.


I checked on her again the night before we left on vacation and saw a slight improvement from earlier that week. I left feeling uneasy, but the barn owner assured me that round bales were being delivered that week, while I was away. Vacation was amazing. We went to Gatlingburg, Tennessee, and I truly enjoyed being in the mountains again, and having a week to relax and sightsee. On the way home the following Saturday, mom and I stopped by the barn again, and once again, I saw a slight improvement from the week before. I felt a little relieved, although she still had a LONG way to go. There were two round bales in each paddock, though. 


Last week, we had Tropical Storm Debby sit over us for 3 days. I was stranded at my boyfriend's house Sunday night, and was barely able to make it home Monday evening because my neighborhood was so flooded. So, after being on vacation for an entire week, I then was unable to get to work for 2 days due to weather. That didn't go over well. The barn was pretty flooded, and they moved the new round bales into the stalls. (Good move, thank god.) 


I got an email from the barn owner Friday evening, saying that she was showing signs of lameness in her left front. She thought it was in her hoof. I went up Monday after work, hoping a couple days of stall rest and 24 hour a day access to hay had provided a marked improvement. 


Up until this point, I was still planning to move her. I was going to leave her through as much of July as needed to get her condition up more, and then probably move her to the polo club, where my boyfriend is living. He was going to help me arrange the rental of a paddock, and she could have stayed there, under his care, until November, when polo season started up again.


Anyway, I checked out her left leg and hoof, hoping it wasn't laminitis (the hay was really rich), or an abscess...hoping it was a stone bruise, at worst. I didn't see anything in the leg or hoof. When I went for her halter, she walked away from me...not normal. She let me halter her and slowly followed me out of the stall to the wash rack...where I hosed her for 10 or 15 minutes, hoping it would cool her down and she'd perk up some. I watched her as she walked, and immediately thought the lameness was coming from her shoulder. To me, that is a compensation issue, stemming from the right hind. Not good. Hosing her off didn't perk her up, either. She wasn't unhappy, but she was very clearly not comfortable and rather dull. 


I spent a while hanging out with her and observing her. Nothing I saw in her condition or behavior made me happy. 

• She's having trouble kicking at flies, because being inside and not moving around has made her hind legs all stocky. 

• The right hock had quite a bit of heat in it. 

• She had trouble stretching out to pee. 

• She was only picking at the hay, didn't really seem overly interested in it. 

• And, she hasn't put on nearly as much weight as I would have hoped, having so much free access to the hay, plus getting 4 scoops of senior feed each day (the hay is in the stall next to her, and she can eat all day, as long as she's in).

The barn owner emailed me the other night to say the vet would be out next week for coggins, if I wanted to have her checked out. I replied and told her where my mindset is currently. She said she was relieved to know I was considering it, even though it's hard. She agrees that the quality of life has decreased drastically lately.


So. I haven't made a *final, final, final* decision, but I am about 85% sure that it is time, because I don't see much hope for improving that quality of life at this point. The remaining 15% is purely emotional. I doubt very much I will see a miracle when I get there this evening. And, I can't keep asking her, or myself, to go through this. Emotionally, financially...I am really not sure I want to keep going through this. :( It's been a long, tiring and very emotional battle. 

Birthday, Lameness, Lysine

Happy 18th birthday, Promise!!

About 3 weeks ago, my (new) boyfriend and I went camping overnight in a park a few miles from the barn. On Sunday morning, we broke down camp and headed over to the barn so he could meet Promise. I had ridden lightly on Saturday and she'd been a little less sound than I had hoped. There was a cold front coming through, so I attributed it mostly to stiffness. We mostly walked and trotted a little bit - I was on her for maybe 20 minutes, so I do mean a LIGHT ride. She worked out of it reasonably well, so I thought I was probably right about the front. Sunday morning, she was nearly three-legged at the trot. Sigh. I got on and walked her around for a while to get her moving, and she felt great at the walk and was happy to be out and about. Clearly, it was not just the cold front.

I've been up to see her a few times since, but have mostly left her alone. Last night, she looked awesome when I turned her out for a few minutes. Great at the walk, and about 95% at the trot. Then she took a few steps of canter up a small slope and came back to the trot gimpy. Not nearly as bad as she had been, but I brought her back in and spent some more time grooming and then did some groundwork with her because she was being pushy and had a bit of an attitude. Straightened it out in just a few minutes and had my polite, responsive girl back. :)

And finally, she has been on Pure Lysine for just over a month now. Check out the difference:

March 14 - she looks anorexic through the hip and topline, despite the everlasting (gobstopper) hay belly. She had been on it for about a week, at this point.

March 25 - just 11 days later, and already a slight difference in the angle of that hip -- good, that means it's working!

April 11 -- almost 3 weeks after the last photo. The angle is slightly different here (oops), but there is a definite difference.

We're still alive!

I realized a week or so ago that it had been over a month since I posted. I've been keeping up with everyone's blogs as best I can…but my own lack of posting is due mostly to getting used to my new job (and having a HUGE freelance project to work on when I got home at night, that was wrapped up at the end of January), trying to get back to the gym a few times a week, spending time with Promise and some additional personal stress/stuff that was going on, as well. Basically, I just didn't feel like it. :)


Promise is doing great -- she's happy, spunky and pretty damn sound. When I was there on Sunday, she actually bucked a couple of times on the lunge line when I asked her to switch to the correct lead going to the right. :)


We walked around for a while, crossed the river, went up the trail and came back. I tried a little trot and she felt sticky behind. I'm sure she would have worked out of it but it was hot (she's as hairy as a yak) and I didn't want to overdo it. 


Speaking of yaks…not only does she have a normal winter coat this year, but she has not been shedding all winter. And, all of the other horses have started shedding…and she's shedding too! Yes! 


Today marks 1 year since the barn owner found her upside down with her leg stuck between a gate and the fence. Horrifying scene (see the post here). 2011 was a rough year for both of us -- but especially for her. I am thrilled that she's obviously feeling so much better.


Also, I have decided to try her on Lysine for a couple of months to see if it will help her regain some muscle tone. She's looking awfully skinny through the hips and unfortunately, feeding won't bring it back. But the supplement has great reviews, even for non-working horses and those recovering from lay-ups, so I figure it's worth a shot. If there were more hours in the day, I'd love to rebuild her muscles in the old fashioned way, but it is what it is, right? Sometimes I really do long for the good ole days when I had enough time to ride 6 days a week. 


Anyway, I have some pictures and video to post, but I just wanted to give a quick update. :) Hope everyone is having a great start to 2012!!