Cold weather...eww.

You would think that I hadn't grown up in Boston. It's been in the 60s here the last few days, and I am absolutely freezing. Plus,  I feel like I have no warm clothes to wear to work. And, since I can't wear jeans, I am severely limited in warm clothing! I need to go shopping, apparently. I know I was all gung-ho about cooler weather, but it seems that we skipped fall entirely and went straight to winter. 

I didn't ride last night because I promised Kris I would take him for a walk...and I was exhausted from getting 3 hours of sleep. I have yoga tonight, but I am planning to ride tomorrow. 

Finally.

It finally cooled off enough for me to ride and not feel guilty for making her work a little.

And just to note, this is the first time in the 10 years I've owned her, I've ever had her throw a shoe. The asst. barn manager(I guess thats what she is) came over as I was bringing her out to let me know that the farrier already knew about it and was coming out on or before Wednesday to put it back on. Great, I thought, so if she's off, I don't get to ride anyway and if she's off and a demon, I definitely won't be getting on, lol. She wasn't off.

I was surprised, and very happy, that she was really good. And she's in heat. It's horrible to think that I honestly can't remember the last time I rode her, which means it was a long while ago. Spring, anyway, right before thesis and graduation stuff and job hunting started to encroach on me, I'm sure. 

I brushed her, took the bands out of her mane (yea, training it has never gone well, and this time is no exception, it instantly flopped to the wrong side in about 3 places). Then I wrapped her front legs and put her bridle on. After throwing her on the lunge line for 5 minutes to w-t-c and warm up her back, and then letting her go around for a few more minutes with the saddle on to make sure she wouldn't be stupid and try to kill me, I got on. Uneventful. It's funny. Every time (since we moved to Florida, anyway) she's gone for an extended period without me getting on her, I wonder just how bad she's going to be. I'm always thinking in the back of my mind, is she going to pull some of her old rodeo antics? or is she going to do nothing? And, she keeps surprising me; she keeps telling me she's grown up. And, she's had so much time off, there's no possible way her back is sore anymore. I know it used to get sore when we were showing, particularly the week after a show.

She *thought* about bucking with the saddle on, on the lunge line, had her butt gathered under her, ready to let loose, I said, No, you're fine, and then I could see the  thought change - maybe because she knew it would mean she had to work  harder. Or maybe she believed me. 

The girth extender thing, by the way, was great. Really easy to use, and I didn't feel like I was killing her to get the girth done on both sides. I had no idea just how fat she was until I got on her, though. Oh...my...god. She's huge. Most of it is hay belly, and lack of work. I hope, even with just riding a couple times a week, it will start to shed off. I hate to cut her grain again, she's only getting about 1 cup a day, total, as I cut her way back when I started the Graphic Design program two years ago and knew I wouldn't be riding much. And I won't take her lunch hay away from her. She's always been obese, even at her fittest. Very weird.

Anyway. We didn't do much in the 40 minutes I was on her. Mostly walk, getting her to soften and not blow through my aids. She comes right back into a frame and moves under herself pretty well for being so unfit. We did a few lateral movements at the walk, trying to get her to come under herself even more. We worked mostly on a circle outside the arena (I prefer this open space to the arena, and so does she) and did a few laps around the paddock. She spooked at one point and almost threw me out of the tack. That's what I get for not paying attention, right? And who keeps a wooden palette outside of an arena? lol. This is when I started working with Mugwump's ideas. Other than rebalancing myself in the saddle, I ignored the fact that she spooked. When we came around the second time, I held my outside rein firm, my outside leg remained open to encourage her body to move away from my inside leg, which pressed, asking her to bend around it and listen to my aids, not the scary piece of horse-eating wood. It worked. We walked around a third time, and I did the same thing, but less. I let her have a little more freedom. No spook. Perfect. We tried the other direction, and in that corner, I again asked her to bend around my inside leg and come into my outside rein, my outside leg supported her body, and let her create the curve. 

And we did about 5 minutes of trot, total. And no canter. She tried to stop and flirt with the morgan gelding that was being worked - that was annoying. I hate when she's in heat to the point that she gets slutty. lol.

But, I spent most of the ride trying to remember to try some of Mugwump's training suggestions. Mostly the principle that even the slightest response gets rewarded. I did this in trying to get her to soften her mouth. I'd hold until she relaxed even a little, and then release. If she went back where she had been, rather than staying there, I'd do it again. By the time I asked her to trot, she was very soft in my hands - both hands, normally she pulls on the left, and her head and neck were perfectly centered between them. She relaxed, started to come up into the saddle, pushing from behind, and stayed at a really nice, soft, slow hunter trot. 

It wasn't a perfect ride by any means. She's fat, and unfit - hell, so am I. But, considering time off, etc...it was great. She felt great. I am looking forward to riding again.

Dream

I had a dream about Harley early this morning. I don't remember what it was about, just that she was there. She looked happy, although I think the lump was still on her nose/cheek...she looked good. Not thin like she'd been when we let her go. 

It's getting easier...but the house is still strangely empty. I think about her every day.

Thinking.

I am leaning towards riding again for the first time in ages in about a week...probably the 20th since I get paid on the 15th and need to buy a girth to fit my moose (ahem, horse). 

Anyway, Fugly's post today got me thinking.

A letter from your horse ...original version and the real story ...

When you are tense, let me teach you to relax. On the days when I go to the barn  so utterly stressed out I am likely to be bald (because I pulled all my hair out in one fell swoop) if anyone so much as looks at me cross eyed. I leave as if nothing is wrong...or was ever wrong. Relaxation.
When you are short tempered, let me teach you to be patient. I rarely lose my temper with Promise, unless she's being *really* bad, and then she usually gets to work for her efforts. 
When you are short sighted, let me teach you to see. Perhaps not exactly what's meant, but I believe owning a horse, like owning a dog, or another critter that depends on you for everything, is incredible. I have learned so much about myself, about life, about love, about responsibility...and most importantly, about budgeting money. 
When you are quick to react, let me teach you to be thoughtful. Sometimes with Promise, my first instinctual reaction is really not the best way for me to proceed in order for her to learn something. It took me a long time to realize that. It also took me a long time to learn to listen to my gut when it says, uhm, you really need to lunge her before you get on today, instead of saying, nope just gonna hop on. And the skills I learned in training her from day 1 to now, carry over into other aspects of my life...even into the classroom. Many of the methods I used to teach her, were taken into my Leadership courses and adapted however they needed to be (if needed at all) into a way to interact with humans.
When you are angry, let me teach you to be serene. I learned in our first two years together that if I let myself get angry at her, she behaves worse...and it continues to compound exponentially until I let it go. So...I learned to let it go sooner so that we can get on with life.
When you feel superior, let me teach you to be respectful. I don't honestly think I have ever let myself feel superior to my horse. I try to be respectful because I expect the same from her.
When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to think of greater things. When I am feeling low and go there for that relaxation aspect, I am often self-absorbed in that I am withdrawn. I go to Promise in those times because she reminds me what unconditional means. She reminds me that there is good even in the midst of a lot of bad.
When you are arrogant, let me teach you humility. When I am feeling arrogant, my ass is in the dirt. Humility.
When you are lonely, let me be your companion. When I got robbed at gun point, the only place I felt safe for a long time was with Promise. When my first boyfriend broke up with me, she took my mind off of it, even for just the few hours I'd spend with her. When we put Harley to sleep, I actually avoided her for a few days...but ultimately, I felt like she knew, and told me we'd done the right thing. 
When you are tired, let me carry the load. When I am tired in life...emotionally, more than physically...she is my reprieve.
When you need to learn, let me teach you. After all, I am your horse. Well, this one sort of speaks for itself I think. 

And now, the REAL story.....
And of course...these don't need any further explanation!
When you are tense, let me teach you that there are lions in them thar woods, and we need to leave NOW!
When you are short tempered, let me teach you to slog around the pasture for an hour before you can catch me.
When you are short sighted, let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in the 40 acres I am hiding.
When you are quick to react, let me teach you that herbivores kick much faster (harder) than omnivores.
When you are angry, let me teach you how well I can stand on my hind feet because I don't feel like cantering on my right lead today.
When you are worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness.
When you feel superior, let me teach you that, mostly, you are the maid service.
When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. Remember? I told you about those lions in them thar woods?
When you are arrogant, let me teach you what 1200 lbs. Of "YAHOO LETS GO!" can do when suitably inspired.
When you are lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also, breakfast and dinner.
When you are tired, don't forget the 600lbs. Of grain that needs to be unloaded.
When you are feeling financially secure, let me teach you the meaning of "Veterinary Services".
When you need to learn, hang around, bud. I'll learn ya.