A quick update

There was little change in the general appearance of the left hind - it is still quite swollen and very warm, even after cold-hosing. The swelling seems to begin a couple of inches below the hock and extends downward. She is not walking any better.


However...her demeanor had changed considerably. While still a bit duller than I would have liked, she was alert and interested in both me and my mother (I brought her with me for a second opinion I didn't have to pay for) and the doritos we smuggled for her. Her eyes did not have that same cloudy, pained look to them that had me so incredibly upset last weekend.


Based solely on the change in attitude, my mother's opinion was to not give up on her quite yet. She agreed the state of her legs is definitely not good but that attitude is a good indicator of quality of life - and level of pain.


So. Euthanasia is still on the table. BUT. 


My last push to see if there is anything I can treat for to prolong quality of life is going to be to do a blood panel looking for Cushing's Disease. It has been in the back of my mind for a while that she is showing some signs of early onset of CD. She doesn't by any means have all of the symptoms, but many don't. The symptoms I've noticed include (obviously) slow healing in addition to loss of topline while maintaining a "pot belly" and although her coat is not overly thick and is definitely NOT curly or wavy, she IS shedding a LOT - like an abnormal amount, especially considering the heat - and has been for some time now. In addition, she has always been a heavy drinker (and therefore a heavy urinator) - which could be coincidence, since it's a trait she's always had.


I am going to make it clear to the vet that I'm at the end of my rope here. I do not want to ultrasound or x-ray, but will have him give me his evaluation of the left hind in terms of best theory from what he sees and feels -- but I have a gut feeling that she's blown a tendon or something, in which case, there truly is only one option.

Thank you.

Thank you all for your kind words. (Lisa, that quote really helped more than I can tell you.:)


This is hard. Ultimately, I didn't have to have the final say with Harley, I only had to have an opinion. She wasn't my dog in the literal sense, just in the companion/best friend/grew up together sense. I have the final say here and SO completely wish I could pawn it off on someone else right now!


I also know that I can't.


I have not made an official decision yet but obviously I am leaning more in one direction than the other because I need to do the right thing for her, no matter how much it hurts me or how much my wonderful boyfriend begs me to keep trying to find a solution - to try x-rays or putting her out to pasture or...etc. I appreciate that he wants to protect me.


But it's not about me.


For both emotional and financial reasons, it will need to be sooner rather than later if euthanasia is to be the final outcome.


At first, I selfishly thought, "Well, I don't want to do it before August 1 because my birthday is coming up and that would suck." And then I unselfishly realized that yes, it would suck...but ultimately, it would be better for both of us - her pain would be over and I wouldn't have to watch her living in pain. And if I use my birthday as an excuse to prolong it, what next...can't do it before September 1 because it's a long weekend? Too much going on?


Forget it. It's not about me. One more time for good measure...this isn't about me. And there's the first step to recovery. :)


Anyway, I put her SmartPak on hold yesterday to buy some time with my billing cycle...and, well...there's a good chance I'm not going to need it. I haven't heard back from the barn owner, which is unusual. But I will stick to my week to see what happens with the left hind and go from there.

I think it's time to make a decision

October will be two years since the original injury to Promise's right hind leg -- whatever that injury may have actually been, it has resulted in chronic lameness off and on (mostly on) ever since. The injections didn't help for very long and it seems that the joint supplement I put her on helped at first, but is no longer doing very much for her.


The cut below her fetlock is not really getting any better. I took Laughing Orca's advice and purchased some Vetericyn (ouch to the $39.99 price tag on a 16 oz bottle) for her and although it has helped make minor improvements that may not have happened otherwise, it just is not doing enough.


Below is a picture taken yesterday, followed by a picture taken on 7/3.

It's just not healing and I don't really know why.

On top of that, when I got there yesterday, she was dragging her toe on the left hind. This mare is not lazy and has never had a toe-dragging problem until these recurring problems began with the right hind. So now, she is dragging both toes, although the left is currently worse...and is already showing wear on the hoof. I saw no evidence of swelling, bruising, cuts, tenderness, nothing. Just toe-dragging and short-stepping symptoms of lameness. 

As a result, she's obviously not walking well. Today, the left fetlock looked like a softball and was pretty warm. I walked her, albeit slowly, for about 15 minutes then let her graze off-lead for another 10. She barely moved while grazing. I then walked her back up to the barn and cold-hosed her leg for another 10 minutes or so. The walk from the arena to the barn had her huffing. And neither the walking nor the hosing changed the swelling in the left fetlock. 

She's not miserable but she's not herself, either. She was happy to see mints but didn't try to mug me for them like she usually does. This horse has never refused to walk forward, she's never stopped and looked at me like she just couldn't do it. I'm having serious flashbacks to Harley. 


I don't want to have to make this decision, but I'm afraid I don't have a choice anymore. And I'm afraid in many ways that it's already been made for me. I am giving her another week to see what changes occur with the left hind. But I can't keep doing this...I have to be the one to decide when it's been long enough...and I think it has been. It's not fair to either one of us and I just don't have the financial means to keep trying things that will only be temporary fixes anyway.