Thank you all for your kind words. (Lisa, that quote really helped more than I can tell you.:)
This is hard. Ultimately, I didn't have to have the final say with Harley, I only had to have an opinion. She wasn't my dog in the literal sense, just in the companion/best friend/grew up together sense. I have the final say here and SO completely wish I could pawn it off on someone else right now!
I also know that I can't.
I have not made an official decision yet but obviously I am leaning more in one direction than the other because I need to do the right thing for her, no matter how much it hurts me or how much my wonderful boyfriend begs me to keep trying to find a solution - to try x-rays or putting her out to pasture or...etc. I appreciate that he wants to protect me.
But it's not about me.
For both emotional and financial reasons, it will need to be sooner rather than later if euthanasia is to be the final outcome.
At first, I selfishly thought, "Well, I don't want to do it before August 1 because my birthday is coming up and that would suck." And then I unselfishly realized that yes, it would suck...but ultimately, it would be better for both of us - her pain would be over and I wouldn't have to watch her living in pain. And if I use my birthday as an excuse to prolong it, what next...can't do it before September 1 because it's a long weekend? Too much going on?
Forget it. It's not about me. One more time for good measure...this isn't about me. And there's the first step to recovery. :)
Anyway, I put her SmartPak on hold yesterday to buy some time with my billing cycle...and, well...there's a good chance I'm not going to need it. I haven't heard back from the barn owner, which is unusual. But I will stick to my week to see what happens with the left hind and go from there.
Very sorry for your situation - there's nothing worse. Whatever decision you reach, it will be reached with the best interests of your horse in mind, and that's what our horses need us to do for them. Sending best wishes and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI lost both my horse and my dog last year. I didn't have a choice with Fame, but I did with Laika and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
ReplyDeleteYou have to do what you feel is right.
This decision is never easy. You are thinking about what is best for Promise and that is what matters. I know whatever you decide to do, and when, it will be with her best interests at heart. Watching pain is difficult. Watching suffering is difficult. It's hard to do but sometimes it's the right thing.
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