Fun stuff

I am working on another post, but it's taking me a while - I started it before Christmas, lol. In the mean time, I have to say I enjoy reading the blogs I've added at the side, and wish I had more time to read the new ones back to front. With that said, I have started perusing Mrs. Mom's blog, and found these questions... 1. How do you gain confidence? Usually through trial and error, and that applies to everything in my life. I learn by doing - and as I get more familiar with something, I feel more confident in my abilities. I can watch something and get the concept but until I do it myself, not fully understand it. Along the same lines, you can tell me how to do something and it will take me a million times longer to get it. I can be shown how to do something, which is often helpful...but typically it is because I can turn right around and try it again, on my own - or even try it as the example is being shown. I design by feel, and I ride by feel. Therefore, I have to feel the difference between right and wrong before I will understand what I need to do to accomplish that again. 2. Do you have any examples of when your confidence affected your horse in a positive way? Getting her to cross the water at the new barn is a great example, I think. She has enough confidence in me to follow me through an experience she'd never had prior to that - and clearly believes that I will keep her safe. Part of that is the trust we have built over the years, and part of it was my determination (read confidence, lol) that she was going to cross it. 3. Do you have any examples of when your lack of confidence affected your horse in a negative way? I'm sure there are hundreds. The post I am working on will touch that topic a bit. For the most part, any time I am stressed (i.e. nervous at a show, or reacting to a trainer I don't care for, etc.), my horse feels and reacts to it in the same manner. If I'm nervous, she gets nervous. If I'm cranky, you'd better believe she gets cranky, too. Funny enough, if I don't like someone, chances are, she feels the same way, too. If I feel convinced she's going to spook at something or behave really badly, it's almost like I make it happen.  4. How do you regain control when things get out of control? I try to stay calm, I try not to react emotionally (try being key here, some times it doesn't work), but to just be matter of fact and straight to the point. While I don't tolerate a rodeo act when I am getting on or once I am on - ultimately, there is only so much I can do to stop it if it happens. I choose to bail and take care of the situation on the ground first. On the other hand, to prevent that possibility, I often encourage her to get the sillies out before I get on (hence why I still lunge a 15 year old horse -granted with back problems and abusive past- before every ride, lol). 

I have to say the most out of control situation I've had to deal with with Promise is the phase she went through when her reaction was to rear to get away. I was out of my element. I was about 15 or 16, and was truly challenged beyond the means of the knowledge I had. My trainer didn't want to help me. She wanted me to give up and sell her. I wouldn't; I couldn't. And it became a matter of pride. So I was on my own. I had to make it work. I discovered what many trainers already know, pretty quickly, if you can catch them at the top of the rear as they are about to lose their balance, and pull/force them back down, chances are, they'll remember that punishment and won't try it again. It's got to hurt to get pulled like that, even from a pretty measly human being...and as much as I hate inflicting any kind of pain on my horse, I feel like that instant of punishment saved both of us not only from dangerous situations, but from having to give up on each other. 5. How firm do you have to be to get what you want out of your horse? Nowadays, honestly, not very hard. She's incredibly willing, and wants nothing more than to please me (most of the time, lol). She looks easy because she is so willing for me (which is probably the basis for that random call a few weeks ago, about the jumping lesson), but she's really not an easy ride. We rarely have arguments or differences of opinions anymore. She does need some ground work reminders, as she has been a bit pushy recently, and has needed some firm reminders that she is to be polite, not step on me or plough past me, etc. and I have had to keep a shank on her because of it. 

In the past, I had to work very hard to get what I wanted out of her. It was a combination of being green, wanting to challenge authority (me) and us learning to communicate with each other. 6. If your horse does view you as his/her all-knowing leader, what did you do to get to that point? Was it all about confidence? Or consistency? Firmness? Kindness? Communication? Calmness? All of those things. If I was feeling low on confidence, she'd walk all over me. I learned to hide it from her. If I was feeling nervous, she went to the extreme in reacting to it...but, to this day, she is the only horse I can't hide nerves from. Ultimately, though, it really has been a combination of it all. There are limits to my kindness in terms of not accepting pushiness, rudeness, unnecessary spooking, etc. and she knows I will get after her for bad behavior and I will be both firm and kind in doing so. I will reprimand her well enough to get the point across and correct the behavior and then let it go and act like nothing happened until the next time. Consistency is huge. I can't correct her 12 times for pawing and ignore the 13th time. 

Communication - also huge. She responds to my voice, and I have put a lot of effort into that response, and have a repertoire of words I use consistently. I say "over" and don't have to touch her for her to move away from me. She walks, trots and canters not only from those words, but from a simple clucking system I talked about in a previous post. But, it is also non-verbal. As with my dog, she knows by a look and change in body posture that she's being bad. She receives non-verbal praise when I relax and stop pushing with my posture, etc. 7. How do you calm yourself down when something happens to get your adrenaline pumping? I actually normally react calmly to situations where most people would panic. Fire in the paddock, ok, grab buckets and get to the trough because there's no hose close enough. Robbed at gun point, hand over the money and pray they take off...make the call to 911 tell them everything, then panic. 8. How do you calm your horse down when something gets its adrenaline pumping? I agree with Mrs. Mom, give her a job; give her something *else* to focus on - a circle, a square, a change in direction. If it's something scary in the corner, I will circle as close as I can get while keeping her attention and gradually work my circle closer until she goes by it without caring.