Where does time go? And lizard brain problems.

All of a sudden, it's been another month and I haven't posted any updates. Oops 🤷🤷 

Every once in a while, I'd think, I should post about my lesson, and then either work would get busy or I just wouldn't feel like it. I think I haven't felt like it because while they have been great, my lessons have essentially been a lot more of the same! Focus on breathing, focus on stretching up through the torso, down through the legs, more breathing. And sometimes, just having a good ride to end a stressful day.

I have no lesson media, so this post will be full of gratuitous garden pictures

My surcingle rides on Tosh have been going really well. Our crazy changing weather has thrown a couple of wrenches in in terms of stiffness and warm-up times, but I did have a huge epiphany a couple of weeks ago. 1 week I had spent 20 or 30 minutes stretching before I went to the barn and the next week, I didn't stretch at all. Wow, did it make a big difference. When I stretched, our warm-up was quick and we were able to get down to work almost immediately, where it took nearly half the class to loosen my hips up when I didn't. So, that was a really good lesson learned and I really make an effort to stretch my hips and hamstrings before every ride now.

My group rides on Skylar have also been going well. My biggest issue is that I lack stamina in 1 direction at the canter. So, I can only keep his front and hind ends together in 1 direction. In the second direction, he'll drop his hind lead out from under me for a stride or 2 before I get it together and make him correct it. It's getting better, though!

Before the major clean-up

After the major clean-up

Then, a few weeks ago, on a Sunday, I got to the barn and found out that Tosh had thrown a shoe, so I was assigned to Jodee, who is a black percheron/arabian cross that T rescued several years ago. I was excited to try her. I know she's a barn favorite, but I had never seen her go and did not know what to expect. 

While my rational brain was excited to try her out, apparently my lizard brain was pretty convinced we were going to die once I got on, which resulted in a rather tense lesson. I was not expecting her to be so forward and I struggled through most of the class to keep my legs in the correct position, because of her conformation (re: big belly). T told me right away that she moves like an arabian with the mouth of a percheron and pulling on her won't get me anywhere but she knows her words and is very responsive to voice and body. 

Long story short, she's a VERY different ride from Tosh and Skylar.

Then this past Monday, Skylar was having issues with his cribbing collar and was cribbing through it, causing himself discomfort and rumor has it he got rather snarky with the girl who was riding him on Monday AND T when she came in to help. So, T texted me Monday night and asked if I wanted to ride Jodee again. I said, sure! I vowed to myself that I was going to keep that damn lizard brain calm and have a better ride. Well, it started out WAY better than a few weeks ago, but then a severe storm moved in quickly and our ride was cut short as we rushed to get everyone tucked in for the night and get ourselves off the hill.

Day 2's section before major clean-up

Day 2's section after major clean-up

So, we had a redo yesterday. We were in the jumping arena out front, and again I could tell that my lizard brain had snuck in and despite the others in the group telling me what a good girl Jodee is, and that she is a lot of fun to jump and really takes care of her rider, plus breathing semi-regularly, I was subconsciously uptight for most of the ride. 

I did eventually get my brain to calm down some and our right lead canter was really lovely. I focused on breathing and counting my strides and it dawned on me that she wasn't going fast at all, she was just covering a lot of ground.

Anyway, T told me to stay in the ring and pick up a posting trot while everyone else exited and I tried to keep myself breathing and soft. I find this very difficult to achieve when I don't know what to expect 🤣  hearing it from the others helped, but not having seen it, I still felt like I was going in blind.

To start, T had me go over the small brick on half school a couple of times. She told me to grab mane, wait and let her go, which I eventually succeeded at. Then we did the small stone to the lime green diagonal line, which went a bit better. 

Finally, she had me come around and wanted me to grab mane and let her canter to the tires. Instead, I stopped in front of her and said, You want me to jump THAT?! She was like, yes, what's the problem? I said, but it's so big. She laughed a little and said, it's the same height as the rest of the fences. You can do it, and Jodee definitely can. Go back to the little brick and then let her canter to the tires. Gulp.

I took a deep breath, put my big girl panties on, and did what she said, and y'know what? It was totally fine, just like she said it would be. Jodee jumped it easily, and it didn't feel that big when we were going over it. 

Also, please enjoy a gratuitous hound in a unicorn sweater picture

T said that was great! What were you so worried about? Then she said to Jodee, good girl, Jo-Jo, she just needs to have some faith in you. I chuckled and said, I have faith in HER, it's myself I don't trust. T laughed a little and said, well, your body is there, we just need your brain to catch up with it. As we exited, J looked at me and whispered, I know exactly what you were feeling there. 💜

When everyone finished jumping, T said, that was a great class ladies. And she walked with me up the hill a little and told me again that I had done great and asked how I felt. I said, I feel pretty good. I might need to go empty my underwear, but I feel pretty good. She advised me to buy some brown breeches. 🤣 

Anyway, we had a long chat on the way down to the far pasture to turn the girls out. T reminded me that she isn't going to over face me with horse or task and repeated that my body is ready. Then she said, if you don't want to ride Jodee, that's totally fine. We can find someone else for you to try. I tried to explain that I think it's a lizard brain vs rational brain issue and said I think I'd like to try her a few more times and see if I can get the hang of her because she is fun, she's a good girl, and I don't feel consciously nervous. 

So, really I just need to learn how to acknowledge my lizard brain is there and get it to stop badgering me. My self-assigned homework over the next couple of weeks is to dig further into Brain Training for Riders: Unlock Your Riding Potential with StressLess Techniques for Conquering Fear, Improving Performance, and Finding Focused Calm. Hopefully I can learn some new techniques for quieting that voice of doom in my head!