One of my friends asked me today, Why horses? I've always wondered about the attraction.
I did my best to explain to her briefly, but in some ways, it can't be explained to someone who doesn't understand - or who doesn't have the "horse bug." Somehow, a bond with a horse is different from a bond with a dog or cat. Why? I can't say.
I love my dogs.
I can't picture my life without the influence Harley had in it. 2 years after losing her, I still think about her and miss her on a regular basis. I am not sure I can say that about the family members I have lost - if only because I didn't spend every day for 11 years with them consecutively. I certainly can't picture not being able to laugh at Kris every day when he does something stupid, silly or otherwise ridiculous. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, he's certainly not the most obedient in terms of training, but he's sweet and he's a great dog.
To the same token, I can't imagine life without Promise in it, which is why I've held on so much and worked so hard to keep her through the years.
While all depend on us humans in their domesticated state, and in many instances, I think we depend on them just as much -- it's just different with a horse. Why?
I hope, after Promise, there will be other horses. At this point in my life, if something happened to her, it would be several years before I could justify purchasing another. But, even though I think I will always have horses in my life, in some capacity - I don't know if I will ever have the same bond with one. Promise is my "once in a lifetime" horse.
While horseback riding in Jamaica, I tried to explain to a fellow rider, who said she'd had horses for years, but never had a mare, why a mare would be my first choice after owning one for 12+ years. I don't know if I succeeded in explaining that although I have bonded with many geldings before, and even had one that would literally do things for me that his body made very difficult, and then flat out refuse to do them for his owner -- those relationships don't even come close to comparing to what Promise and I have.
Is it because of how our relationship began? Perhaps. I was probably the first human to show her that she could trust, and actually gave her a reason to want to. Could it be the time that has elapsed? Maybe.
Beyond that, I think we just really and truly clicked. I think through the years, we have learned to work with each other. Sure some of it has been trial and error. But in our own way, we have a conversation only we can understand, when we're together. It's kind of like being with your best friend and finishing each others sentences. I have never been unkind, I hope I have never been unfair, and I have done my absolute best for her and with her - stumbling only over my own ignorance with only the best of intentions. Somehow, I feel like she knows that. I think she trusts me completely as her leader. I am her herd - and her safety net. I know that she would do anything for me, and she has proven it time and time again, that as long as I am clear, and fair, in my request, she will try as hard as she can to do what I ask.
I agree with all of that. You words are very sweet and as a fellow horse lover, I understand it all. They really do things for us that dogs and cats can't. Maybe it has to do with the trust we put in them when we climb up on their backs. I don't know how to explain it either, but yet I completely understand you :)
ReplyDeleteI think part of it for me is the partnership. There is absolutely no reason a 1000 lb animals has to do what I say, and yet they do. Mostly they choose to partner with us and create something beautiful. I love teaching a horse something new that they seem to enjoy. My gelding honestly seems to love jumping. Not to mention its an amazing feeling that I cannot explain to anyone who's never tried it to let go of your fear and gallop a horse at a big fence. It's the closest to flying I've ever gotten without a plane. :)
ReplyDeleteHorses also become our herd, our own safety net. My kids may grow up and leave home but I will always have horses. They always have a soft shoulder to cry on and like a very wise person once said, "sometimes you just gotta run." Nothing gets me over a rough patch like trusting my horse to gallop across an open field or beach.
As Winston Churchill said, There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a (wo)man. Perhaps he said it best?
ReplyDeleteYes, Fyyah, it is definitely the partnership. Promise has shown me many times that I can't *force* her to do anything she doesn't want to. But when she *wants* to please me...she would help me touch the moon, if she could. She wouldn't do that for anyone else.
And, I agree, there is nothing quite like sailing over the perfect fence. I still remember the high I felt after taking a 4.5 ft oxer on an ex-jumper. I have never found anything comparable to that feeling!
But what else?
Yes, I can count on her to support me (emotionally, anyway) when things are hard. She has certainly soaked up many of my tears over the years. She's also been the source of them quite a few times!
I know there's no single answer out there. I think they've had this conversation (or a similar one) over on Equestrian Ink, too.
What is it for me?
The unconditional love.
The partnership.
The bond.
The friendship.
The beauty.
The power.
The complete trust it takes from both parties to do what we do - I am trusting my relatively fragile body to, in my case, a 1700 lb. animal, who could absolutely do damage or even kill me, and at the same time, she is trusting me, to not harm her. She is sensitive enough to feel a fly land on her, yet lets me sit on her back much the same way a predator would attack her.
It's mind blowing and indescribable to anyone who hasn't experienced the connection with another living creature (that is not human).